I don’t know what rules you live by..

Those weaknesses don’t govern my life..

I’ve considered your innocence… 

But you’ve betrayed your innocence…You’ve allowed your innocence to die.. So what is your life really worth..

You’re just a soul in search.. 

Of what? 

A longing you’ll never find on this earth…

Numb your misery… Numb it baby..

I still believe in you… But you are a lost soul… Sent to this earth on a wild goose hunt… The innocence in others disturbs you… You look for love but will never find anything beyond infatuation..

You are cursed..

In me you found the beauty of innocence to latch upon… To fall in love with… But my innocence is tainted… And it isn’t even mine… It’s the discarded innocence of the many misguided souls… From the many lifetimes I’ve explored..

Innocence that’s been abandoned and left for death…

All this trash and you managed to find your treasure…

I thought about killing you for betraying my trust, as you have betrayed so many others…

You think your rules and rationale will save you… But your weakness don’t govern my actions…

And your soul is full of guilt and justified retribution… 

I am the cleansing you so longed for…

In me you will find redemption… In me your soul will be renewed…

A baptism by sacrifice… A superficial martyrdom– not to save the souls of many but to rebirth the spirit of one…

Inhale deeply… Macabre effervescence… Allow the breath of innocence to breathe life back into that which has died… 

Let me resurrect you from your own self-inflicted mortality…

Have you ever really lived?

Everything I ever loved turns to stone…

They say if you let it go and it comes back to you… That’s true love..

But every thing I let go, sinks to the bottom of an endless ocean…

I have no gills… So it’s gone forever..

Forever sinking.. Forever lost.. Forever losing…

I left my body to pursue other world’s… Obtained other bodies to feel other touches…

To know new energies… Express my self in a paradigm this world doesn’t understand and will never allow..

I enjoyed these experiences… I enjoyed those miracles… But I always think back to you…

I always allow those unfulfilled regrets to taunt my spirit.. Taint the sunshine of my soul… 

A stormy cloud with no silver lining…

Yes, the rising of a new sun is so lovely…

But there is no soul like your soul… And no stone like our stone…

It has sunk, and will forever sink…and is forever sinking…

These storm clouds pour on my heart… Only adding to the depths of my ocean…

Every stone I’ve sought to gather lines an ocean floor– somewhere…

Mermaids… Dolphins… Crabs… Experience the lost love of many… 

Sunken treasures never to be realized.. 

A falling stone…long lost in a sea of apathy…

I have an acute paranoia..

The wind echoes privy… And voices reflect lies…

I have a hard time seeing the people I deal with…. As.. People..

Just motives… Attempts to knock me off my pivot… 

The wind shows much more mercy than the motives of men…

So much peace could be had… Shared…

So much solace… Yet we fear even our thoughts… Because they too taint our souls…

Who’s thoughts are these that cascade from the terrain of my mind…

More lies.. Designed to knock me off my pivot…

I have acute paranoia..

The obtuse is all around… The inane is abundant…

How do you continue to pray to a god that has forsaken you? Who’s god are you praying to that it has lifted your enemies on a pedestal and has afflicted you with so much misery…

Perhaps you lack enough paranoia to even save yourself..

I’ve rested my head on the bosom of demons… Allowed the words of their tongue to caress my thoughts..

I was lonely… It felt good… 

But solace and loneliness can be mutually exclusive..

Being honest with yourself can only free you from the darkness…

Unsavory motives preying on unsuspecting minds… Exploiting unfortunate circumstances… Leading to a series of begrudging actions.. Destructive events…

I pray for the afflicted…

But to what avail…

My prayers echo from the mountain tops… Bouncing off of deaf ears.. Creating an avalanche of unfulfilled hopes… Empty expectations…

To whom must the bell toll but for me…

Those watching.. Those receiving my words… Aren’t those bending to my Will but acting in their own..

I have an acute paranoia …

And rightfully so…..



In retrospect…

I suppose the hate isn’t all so bad when the adjoining love is authentic…

The despair is merely an aftermath… A combustion of emotion without an appropriate outlet…

It just mutates into whatever symbioce that’s fulfills its needs..

I’m left to not only take on the sins of my father.. But cursed to take on the sins of another…

Cold only feels good when it’s all you know… It’s the comfort within the normalcy that I’ve grown attached to…

To be so near another but far away is torture indeed…

I’d rather be isolated in hell than made to believe a false hope in purgatory…

We fear solitude… Mainly because we fear our thoughts… We fear the truth of ourselves…

But I stare in the mirror every day…

I see the light… I acknowledge the darkness… And serve em both their just due…

I constantly seek to reconcile the tension..

A cognitive dissonance not only between myself… But between the love and bond I share with another…

Through a third scope… I seek to become one with her… But schism is far too great…

The dissonance is daunting…

An iron sheik… With an iron will..With an iron curtain… Dividing too spirits seeking to be one soul…

She retracts like the tide..

Like the oyster, when she opens she reveals the most precious parts of herself…

Part quiet… Part coy.. Part perturbed.. Creating a concoction of a closed off shadow..

Attempting to go unnoticed… She keeps her hidden colors within the dark…

But it’s only temporary.. It’s always temporary.. But can you ensure the wave.. The intensity.. The empty backlash… Can you be sure that it isn’t filled with hatred… But filled with fear…

I’m scared… How do I deal with this new found emotion.. How am I to be entrusted with this pearl that you have bestowed upon me…

You respect my fear…. And I believe you..

She sits quietly… Undisturbed because I won’t touch her..

I patiently wait for the tide of her anguish to retract.. And the wave of her emotion to come crashing back in..

She smiles…

Revealing the tide is finally subsiding..

She looks into my eyes… I return the gaze… She turns away.. All but hiding her honesty..

Another pearl left for a guardian spirit..

Am I a worthy partaker of this pure innocence…

Her fears of my failing nutriment coincide with my fear of its fragility…

But with each crash the of waves… Comes a bond unique… And the waters will help nourish…

And I thank her for her waters….

Thank God for the waters….

I can’t recall if I came from a time before or after…

It all becomes a blurr, eventually…

No prophecy ever becomes 100% fulfilled… I’ma a testament of that…

The periphery it outlines is always intact but the details always vary…

Mis and match…

Perched on the moon… I become that thing… That unintended consequence..

But I embrace it… And move on…

There is no satisfaction guaranteed with this life…. So despite it all… I just keep pushin… And enjoy every moment for what it has to offer…

Storing memories like baseball cards… Letting their value increase with age…

A thing from the moon…. Beaming down only when darkness pervades….

Quite the concept… I’m only visible when darkness inundates… It’s coo, because I’m appreciated all the more…

Moon lit sacrifices… Full moon rituals… Innocence scorned…

Many times I sit back and watch all the hysteria done in my name…

I’m flattered… But I’m a man just as you… And no matter how much credit you give me… Only you can absolve your sins…

One way or another you’ll eventually learn..

For the words have already crystallized to form the future.. The details are left for you to fill in… Go live your life… Feel free to be you… No matter the consequence…

Once you truly learn who you are… Then maybe we can do business…

Until then Neverland will be your home…

Enjoy the your stay..

I’ll visit every now and then… And in the most darkness, evidence of me is everywhere…

Just think and be…

Let your flame increase my bright …

Together we can illuminate and unite…

As you learn yourself, you will know me…