How can you be in it and not of it… A constant struggle to dial in yet zone out at the same time..

How can you be in it but not of it?

They ask..

I propose: how can I ever live if I’m poised to die…

There are so many questions, a multitude of answers but all I seek is the way…

I get so focused on the answers that I lose sight of the bigger picture… The riddle is in the details… But freedom is in the truth… And the way is but a golden brick road to the gates of truth.. And continues beyond, through the entry way of destiny…

I’m so zoned out that I feel like I’m dead already.. Not dying for that’s a process.. But just.. Dead.. In a space I don’t belong, in a time I’m needed but no longer feel as being of necessity… In a soul who’s barriers are constantly under siege.. Who’s walls are constantly being beat on, by the outside influence of hopelessness and despair…

I’m so tuned in that I can’t help but zone out… Inundated by the reality that the facade I live within can no longer hold up.. It is no longer convincing.. The illusion must be reconstructed, and reconstructed soon or it will all collapse upon itself..

My mind will collapse upon itself… The only thing holding it all together is love..

Like a string and bubble gum.. A makeshift solution to an unstoppable force.. Even love can’t hold truth back.. In fact it’s the love from within that is shattering the deception that pervades without…

So how can I be in it but not of it? 

Simple… I was never fully in it to begin with, just under the impression that I was…