You laugh at my fear… As though it were only my problem….

As though my vulnerabilities don’t affect my actions… Towards myself..

Towards you…

You dismiss it… Absolving yourself from all future transgressions…

The steady flow of continuous traffic balances my thoughts…

I did this to me… And I can’t escape my fate…

I asked for absolution… But the future only wants to humble me.. Taking my joy and bringing me to bended knee… Crushing my spirits and playing pity-pat with my heart…

Your warm embrace can’t save me… It never could.. Because your cynical smile exposes too many truths… Too much darkness…

There’s so much black I lost myself in you… I can’t find my way out…

My light is extinguished inside of you…

I’ll die in you… And won’t see the light again until you spit me out…

As the prophecy goes…

Cursed by the lips of the crying
Banshee… Brought to fruition by the desires of an ambitious man…

Vertigo…

Sometimes I’m falling forever..

No fear of landing, splat…

Just free falling… Lack of any control…

In order to gain control one must completely relinquish any bounds… Any thought of control must vanquished..

Self-sacrificed…

And so I free fall… Body surfing through the clouds.. Until I hit bottom.. Until I hit consciousness… Until my body smashes into fragments of fragments and I’m at one with the void…

Devoid of any semblance…

A man divided.. A man amongst it all.. A man without a self.. completely scattered among the surface of the universe…

I can hear stars bleed…

And dolphins cry…

I can hear nymphs gaze…

And elephants fly…

It all becomes possible when I lose hold of reality… I have to relinquish control of it all… In order to gain control of everything….

Cold steel.. Pressed against my bicuspids… Squeezed with a ironic passion by the meat of my upper and lower lip… My tongue flicks at the steel almost taunting it…

Cold rush… Eyes close.. And I just squeeze away… Releasing it all..

I just blew chunks of my brains out the back of my skill… It was the only means of self defense I could muster.. I felt my life threatened and that was the only course of action…

I gifted the world with the crimson of corrupted self indulgent thought…

I’m talking on a metaphysical level…

Ain’t nothin really happened..

Although, I did visualize it..

I often do..

Concentrating on the calculating details… Like what music would I have playing in the background…

Veracity intact…

It could never happen… Cause I’ve seen my death a thousand time..

Plays out like a C level movie…

My death will be by the hands of another…

poetically orchestrated..so cinematic that the wind will carry on my symphony..

Elegantly whispering sweet nothings in my ear as the time has arrived to fulfill my destiny…

You are my son and I am well pleased…

No longer burdened.. For burden has been fulfilled.. The Message will be retracted back to where it came from…

Back to the lips of the infinite word…

Back to harmonize with the preverbal bass…

And at the moment… All moments shall collide… Elevating me to the point of choices…

Infinite choices…

To be in the state of choice….

Will be to know Bliss…

By the Glory of Elijah!

I seen the light… I shed this body and entered a dimension of paradox…

No longer battling with the duality of being man and spirit I chose an alternative option..

That of eternal life…

By the rod of Moses..

I saw the glory of god… And realized it wasn’t god at all..

With brilliance he shown.. But with malice it left me disfigured and glowing… The wisdom alone aged my soul…

All will bow… All shall confess.. As free will slips from our clutches..

Slaves?

Yet I found another route.. Something along the Milky Way… A place where I could hide out til all the ruckus blows over…

A place where I can retain my freedom.. Eat from the tree of life and cruise the galaxy in my Cadillac space ship…

In the beginning was the word..

Yet a Big Bang started it all…

I just wanna get in my Cadillac space shift.. Turn up the music.. And let the bass be my guide…

In a faint distance I can hear the screams and cries of the righteous and unrighteous alike..

I just turn up the bass…
Drowns out the misery… They chose their dichotomy… Heaven.. Hell.. Heaven of hell… Hell of heaven…

Who knows what future that fear has carefully articulated for them…

I just know I won’t be there to save em..

And like the stars…I’ll kiss my pinky ring.. And get my shine on…

Beauty in astronomy

The celestial bodies lead my thoughts with precision…

Leaving me to tip toe through life.. Careful with plenty concern…

Yet careless without remorse..

I have empathy for you all… Really…
But it’s such a beautiful day..
My second Sun is rising…
Imagine the apex, flooding me excellence…

I’m shining… My temperature is rising… I’m no longer man, I’m beyond…

rebirthed in myth and legend…

I’m mythical.. A distorted figment of your imagination.. You can’t love me because you can’t see me…

Best you can do is offer up energies…

Pray

And you may see me on your nightmares… A dreary perplexity… Yah… That’s my only remnants… My only trace.. A vestige of what god is without man..

Red Dragon

Hunt me… Kill me… Folklore…
Memorialized upon the celestial…

Gravitate…

I’ll be your second sun…Arise and feel the glory…

It’s warm…. And a bit sticky…

But the fulfillment is well worth it… And the nectar will make you love me….and curse me all the same…

They call us children of the Sun: the most high.. Cause our skins a lil darker..

But this is a half truth…if not a truth at all… Because I have distinct memories of resting my soul on the moon.. When it was the only earth that mattered…

And this earth was but a nascent sun…a prepubescent energy fresh out the womb…

As with my memory, the moon’s pinnacle is no more.. Only a vestige of a time passed… Debauchery– who knows? A kingdom come? A rulership gone awry….

Must history be fated to repeat itself… For I’m not prepared to seek another sun and make it my earth.. My fire burns deep but not that deep… Not that hot…

I’m yet to be freed from these demons… I can’t survive an apocalypse in this state..

I’m ill fated and unprepared… I’m too stuck in the present to transcend my past… Let alone attempt to rearticulate some semblance of a future..

My soul isn’t dense enough.. My light isn’t bright enough… My clay can’t be formed because the master mason has too many back orders to fill…my fire doesn’t burn hot enough…

Perhaps one day we will be ready..

Before this earth, too, burns out…

Nothing to gain… Everything to lose…

Peace from above… War from below… Yet war has been declared from above…

And we’re all feeling it’s glow.. White hot ember burning holes through our consciousness…

One man stands up!

And it’s just another toe tag to add to a pile of indifference…

Put em on a pop culture pedestal… JFK….Malcolm… ODB..

But let their message rot with their corpse…

Necro.. Negro… Spook..

Who’s dead… Who’s alive..

From the ashes we rise… Because you can’t kill fate… Like the Phoenix we carry on undaunted.. Fighting…

Singing a song that never ends… The song bird echoes…

And the others naturally chime in…

When will you sing… Or is waiting idly on the sideline the only reality you see..

Football… Christ… Emmy… Blow.. Al Qaeda…

Are these the truths that resonate…

Holding your voice hostage… Singing a mute song that has no melody…

Yet we have everything to gain because we’ve lost it all…

A perpetual war…that knows no end… Like yin hating yang and yang constantly fighting to prove its love for yin…

Either speak or forever be silenced… Either sing along or be crushed by the spirit of the movement…

Sittin in the depths of hell.. Who can I call on when it’s goin all wrong…

He needs help…

I swear the same voices begging me not to do it… Were the same voices that persuaded me in the first place..

But it’s all in my head…

They called me a liar… Uttered things like… “Things aren’t as they seem…. But you can fix that..”

“We’ll show them all..”

We were a team.. I had their back and they told me that they had my back..

The voices tell me lots of things…

Like who should die and who should live…

They never give reason though… They never persuade, only mandate…

But I’m tired of being bullied… By words that don’t exist…

And now they are begging me not to do it…

Spare innocence… Wake up… This ain’t right…

I’m not confused.. They want me to be confused… And since I let one voice in.. They all want to jump in and give their two cents worth..

Well fuck em… Fuck em… Fuck em..

I’m doing what we set out to do.. You’re either with me…

Or like this innocence… You can become nothing….

And we’ll see who my true friends are… Because I can always call on them…

And as long as I’m open minded they’ll always have something to say…