Tag Archives: black sheep

Memoirs of a Christian on the edge… (an unfortunate Messiah)

I’m in the midst of one of my faith lapses. You know, one of those periods when I’m feeling deprived of divine presence. I feel drunk with the ambiguity of ethereal incentive. And what do you know. Out of all the days I volunteered at Jonesboro Middle School–he had to choose this day.

He had to choose this day to purge his little soul to me!

Rather, his ideal of identity to me. As though, of all people, I had the answer. What force drove him to gravitate towards me on this most auspicious of days.

“Why doesn’t God love me…Why doesn’t he love me like he does all the other families?”

And I had a good idea as to where he was coming from. I had a general understanding of the boys unfortunate background and troubled lot in life. I knew he simply wanted reassurance–encouragement that a father figure would generally invoke, but as deprived as he was of such he decided to seek this role from me.

But, he simple chose the wrong day. The most pivotal of times in a boys life, I suppose it was imminent though. Truth has an awkward way of presenting itself. I knew the appropriate thing to say, but this came out,

“Well…Maybe you should find a new God…Yours doesn’t seem to work any more.”

And I didn’t mean it like it came out, but the way he looked at me conveyed everything. He didn’t look away; he didn’t panic; a tear graced from his eye, yet he remained stoic. But unjustly on some level he understood what I meant. Of course God doesn’t love you or me. God loves his own and that’s it. Right? Only his own. He makes his own happy.

Not the likes of you and me.

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How long will we allow Religion to Rape our Spirituality…

The exploitation of spirituality by religions across the world…

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Spirituality and religion are two realms that can be mutually exclusive but happen to coincide more often than necessary.   If I dare use this comparison: I view Spirituality as the victim of a psychologically abusive abductor in the form of Religion.  This may be quite a sensitive subject because, as Stockholm syndrome would dictate, we have fallen in love with our capturer.  We are under the illusion, a comfortable subjective truth, that Religion is dogma—that religion is absolute truth, that religion is our savior.  Since our capturer has provided all of our spiritual pfood, shelter, comfort, and fulfillment—it must certainly be the complete gamma of what spirituality has to offer.  We have identified with our capturer so much so that some of us have laid down our lives in the name of our religion.  Some of us have murdered in the name of our religion.  Some of us have stolen innocence and destroyed entire cultures in the name of our religion.  Some have sacrificed our first born in the name of our religion. So, what is this phenomenon known as religion and why is it distinguishable from spirituality?

Is there more to a spirit than what the constraints of language, imagery, expectation, and imagination can conceive?

I consider Religion a parasite.  A contrived parasite that has latched on to something very real that is spirituality– a living breathing entity that is constantly evolving.  As per my philosophy we (at least a fair portion of us) are light or spirit beings having a human experience.  However one may choose to articulate the matter: whether we be vibrational beings, energy beings, or light beings to me it is all leading to the same source.  One’s spirituality can not be denied or hidden.  Most have an innate sense that we’re here for a “greater purpose”.  Most have an unquenchable thirst to know “why” they are “here”.  The seed has been sown in all of us.  Now this journey to the source isn’t necessary easy or necessarily our purpose.  But religion has provided a gross over-simplification of a complex issue.

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Religion has taken the concept of spirituality and held it hostage.  What is meant to be a means of freedom, a means of open communication of information, a medium of exchange, a medium of healing, a medium of empowerment has been replaced.  It has been replaced with strict dogmas that reduce everything to the black and white.  It has been replaced with spiritual atrophy. Man is convinced to disempower themselves and allow for their savior or external source to dictate the fates of their lives.

Many of the underdeveloped gifts that spirituality has bestowed upon us bleed through the oppression of religion.  There are revelatory gifts that some encompass in which religion cannot quiet.   There are untapped resources of physical self-healing that exist despite being taught otherwise. They call it the placebo effect—but it’s nothing more than the nescient or nascent ability of the mind to heal using our spiritual strengths.  Some of us have the ability to manifest our own futures by “speaking things into existence” and others have the ability of foresight (to know what is to come of us).  Ever been thinking of something and the person next to you seemingly reads your mind—and verbalizes what you were thinking?  Perhaps this was preverbal spiritual truth—how we as beings communicated before our de-evolution into our current state.

I do not know all of the gifts that our spirits have to offer but I am aware enough to know that they exist and have courage enough not to deny their presence.  But this is not an exposition of man’s gifts.  This is an exposition of how the regulation of these gifts has been used to victimize us.  How these gifts have been stifled and replaced with a rudimentary quality of life and existence. Some of the most powerful beings on this planet have the slightest idea of their potential.  Brilliant minds and brilliant souls are falling to the wayside. –And in the name of what?

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Now I don’t want to completely condemn religion because it does have its place.  It can be the building block of something special.  It teaches discipline and can provide a launching off point of where spirituality can take us.  We all have various levels of intelligence and discernment and maybe religion can be something great for a portion of society.  But to deem it the end all be all is tragic– fatal. And it keeps the gifted among us from being valued, from elevating our species, and helping to repair our collective consciousness.

How do we break the chains of our oppressor?  How do we leave our oppressor if we love our oppressor?  Is being in captivity so bad if I’m being taken care of?

When one manipulates the possibilities of the inevitable it impedes growth.  When you start people off and dictate the end result of their life before they are even born there is no room for growth. Their whole life is oriented towards achieving one destination or avoiding the other.  Spirits are meant to grow, expand, engage, create, and so forth.  None of this is possible when the possibilities don’t exist in the mind…If the possibilities can’t even be fathomed.. The existence can’t even begin to be manifested…

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The Curses that Slumber your Gifts…

What curses and spells are you under?
How is your mind wired… And Why is it wired as such…What perspective does it lack…

How was your ideal of success oriented and formulated…

What do you attain to be and why?

How does one break them-selves free of mental bondage if they have no idea that they are enslaved?

Who seeks to gain from our mental servitude– which leads to our spiritual impotence…
These are some of the few questions that come to mind, when I give thought about the subject of Spells.Such is the world we live in… Many individuals are mentally enslaved to a particular mindset or thought process and have no idea anything else could exist… They are convinced that a particular truth is an absolute truth.  They are locked in a box with no means of escape… For the box is all they know– a prison called home…

How does one have the walls of their box expanded or broken down? I would presume through exposure- an exposure to different people, an exposure to different environments, an exposure to different energies, and an exposure to different thoughts.  It could be as simple as a word from the right person followed by an explanation that could break a mental spell…Sometimes we can’t see that which is right in front of us.
So what are these spells?
I call them spells because I believe that they are literally spells… There are those who seek to benefit from the myopic mind state of the masses…you don’t need to control the people when you can predict the decisions that they will make… If you can do that, you have in fact already have won. Predicative responses allow others to gain power beyond all measure, because at that point people cease becoming people and become a series of quantitative actions and results…and these actions and results aren’t proactive but reactive—reflex if you will.

Most of these spells are innocuously castes upon the perceiver.  The five senses cannot be consciously shut off, so on one level or another the brain is constantly having to receive and discern information.  So whether it be a conscious or subconscious level the brain is always active.  The brain is highly oriented towards patterns.  On a basic level we are very much a judging species, it is how we are able to survive the world around us.  It is how we develop our preconceived notions etc.  Therefore our brain tends to make associative-ties—it may associate a word with an action, a smell with a particular feeling, a touch with a memory, a symbol with who knows what or countless other associations.  There are those who have done vast studies regarding the psychology of the mind and believe they have the mind down to a science.  And through this science they initiate spells.  The most innocuous yet powerful spell is through song.  Melodies and messages attached to them tend to stick.

Try an experiment: count from 1-26.  Now count backwards from 26-1.  Next say your “ABCs”.  Now say your ABCs” backwards.–Now counting numbers forwards and backwards seems fairly simple because you know your numbers.—Now reciting your “ABCs” may be more difficult.  Perhaps it is because you do not know your “ABCs” as well as you would like to believe.  Perhaps you are under the impression that you know your “ABCs” and truthfully you only know the melody and the words associated with the melody.  This has very strong implications–especially in regards to belief and knowledge.

Song is one of the easiest ways to transfer ideas, mentalities, and so forth without the perceiver having any real control over its power.  Another means to cast spells is through visual slight of eye.  As is said the hand is slighter than the eye.  The eyes can be bombarded with more images than the conscious mind can discern.  It doesn’t mean these images disappear but are retained and stored within the subconscious mind and harbor influence and activity there.

An example: the movie “Fight Club” provided an excellent example.  One could be watching something seemingly innocuous like cows grazing in a field—a sophisticated editor could splice a picture of an erected penis in the image without your conscious knowledge.  They can flash the image so fast that the conscious mind can’t possibly register.  But the subconscious mind takes notes, and begins to register, and tends to begin the associative process.  And who knows what affect down the line the penis to cow association may have.  (Just a lil example).  Thus through mass dissemination of media spells can be placed frequently and under the guise of entertainment.  The fore front of which is led by the monster known as Hollywood.  As been told the “Holly wood” is actually from the tree upon which witches and wizards were known to craft their magical wands from.  Thus it particularly remains hidden in plain sight.

The fact that these spells hold no true power until the perceiver gives them such is why they are so powerful.  The perceiver tends to give them credence without conscious realization.  Over and over a melody may play in one’s head.  An everyday symbol that one may see can illicit any number of emotional subconscious responses—over and over: to the point it may become a daily subconscious affirmation.  A weakening of the state of the soul—that allows influences in and in a surreptitious manner. The end result is people behaving and making decisions without having complete control of themselves—a automated response based on an unnatural trigger.
Again one should ask, who are placing these spells and why?

How can one free others if they know not to free themselves?

And is perspective or lack thereof the sole responsibility of the perceiver?

How far does the influence of these spells reach?

A Leader of One’s Self (Perhaps the Sheep should herd the Shepherd…)

Leadership is a very enigmatic subject for me.  I am full of ambivalent and conflicting opinions on the matter.  In my most fundamental belief, I feel every man has the obligation to be leaders of them-self(s) and should have the right to do so.  Yet, I myself have a natural leadership/rebellious quality to myself that tends to attract others.  I don’t know if it is some type of gravitational pull but admittedly such it is evident.  Thus I feel–yes, if a man is willing to be led, well then, that man should be led.  He is not void of all responsibility of himself but he knows that he is lacking in certain areas and is willing to be led.  And maybe that man is not lacking at all but has a sense that another has a greater vision than theirs and feels obliged to help see that vision through.  That has very little to do with competence but recognizing the “greater good” if you will.

From my observation, the majority of the general population is grossly lacking critical thinking skills.  I don’t know if they’ve been conditioned not to think for themselves but many of them don’t.  This may be due to a various amount of factors—mainly the nurturing vs. environment dynamic.  I view that the mind and its capacities is on par with any other muscle in the human body.  If it is not engaged or stimulated many of its faculties become stagnate and/or dormant or weakened. Thus with this lifelong inactivity of utilizing critical thinking skills, I am not sure if these people have developed the competence to think for themselves at this point.

You can watch a typical cluster of people become swayed by just about anyone utilizing some form of low-reaching dysfunctional-logic.  There is a clear divide between the clever and the dull witted.  And the dull witted heavenly outnumber the clever. This tends to create a grand amount of problems.

The question then becomes: Is it the obligation of the few, who are capable, to lead the many.  Or is it the responsibility of the individual to lead themselves.  A better scenario perhaps: is it the responsibility of those being led to hold the leader accountable.  But this would require an informed general population one that isn’t lazy enough to just trust a leader to do right by them.  A bit of a catch 22 because an informed individual could very well lead them-self(s).

So when you take this passive mindset and ideology and apply it towards religion, politics and popular culture one can quickly see the danger of this phenomenon.  On the flip side there are opportunities available for a healthy-conscious-righteous leader.  And if one were to emerge from among us all that has been made wrong could be reversed exponentially faster than it has been corrupted.  It is our obligation has individuals to lead, if not leading others to lead ourselves and become an informed public.  So that one day we can provide the platform for such a leader to exist.  And not so much exist, for they are among us, but become…

An informed public creates for healthy public opinion…