A you were meant to be…

Mechanical mind state with mechanical thoughts.. Pre-contrived notions in a pre-programmed ideology… Implanted in a free and receptive mind at inception..

Trauma sustained… Lies sustained.. All glued together by the adherence of guilt..

Beautiful minds are so fuckin’ fragile… valuable souls have the greatest defenses but they’re always under attack..

How selfish must I be to draw someone into my dark world.. You couldn’t begin the understanding of my mechanics… Wired a little different…

You see that I’m different but you just don’t know how…

Who is trying to fucking kill me!!!

I ask and I ask, but you refuse step into the light.  Instead choosing to maneuver among the shadows and crevices–the dark recesses of my mind.

I am not afraid to die.. More so how I’ll die… I Just want my dignity…. If not, just some semblance of peace of mind… I want to tell my story, and not live a machines tell.

In order to tell it, I need a listener ..

I found what I fear… It has swallowed me whole… But my head sticks out of it’s mouth, it is slowly spitting me back up. My fears could never consume me because of who I am, and who I am is greater than what it began to consume. What it began to consume was a reductionsalist’s reality, but I am a story-teller’s myth!

An entity more than a machine…more than a man… More than a summation of decisions.. More than an accumulation of failures and triumphs.. And that, my friend, is too much to wrap your lips around–more than a mouth-full.

Yet you refuse to give up, I confronted you and it only encouraged you more.  I acknowledged you and it invigorated you and enervated me in the process.  I thought I’d call your bluff, but it seemed to only declare war.  How am I to survive without reconciliation of mind.  You’ve chosen to divide and conquer, and implosion is your only chance.  It appears it is the only chance that you need.

Perhaps a mechanical soul to parallel my mechanical mind would be much more appropriate…A thorough machine may be my only defense from you…