Packed my bags and ran away from it all… To you….

You promised everything would be alright…

You told me if I wrapped myself in your arms… Emerged myself in your world… And just let go of the past everything would be alright..

I didn’t need my family… You were all the love I needed..

You made me call you uncle..

Eventually after years within your reign… I eventually forgot about where I came from.. But I hurt so much now.. It makes me wonder where I came from..

It makes me question why I’m here.. Is this why I packed my thoughts and ran away to..

I should have known it would come with a price… You sought me out and played on my vulnerabilities… You knew I’d have to pay back that debt one way or another….

And you knew I didn’t have the one way… So it’d be the other..

It cost me everything I once knew and took for granted.. Everything that was once sacred, has now been shed like reptile skin…

My words don’t speak no more… My body don’t dance no more.. It’s whored out for your profit… My sight doesn’t even see clearly anymore.. Just a haze and a fog..

My brain’s chumped up on opiates… And my mind is barely reconciled enough to articulate these thoughts..

I’m tired… I’m so far tired..

Malnutritioned.. Deprived of something… Of Anything… All around me I hear stories.. Same sad song.. Different melody… 

We’re all just tired… We came to you because we believed in you…

And even now your soul is rottened out to the core… Eaten alive by miscreants, thieves, snakes and liars..

And now we’re left in the snakes den to fend for our selves… To die generation after generation.. Living for nothing but the hope that one day we’ll remember how it once was…

Until then we will die everyday like it’s our last… And live for the momentary pleasures you have to offer… Without the pleasures of the flesh we would have nothing…

So in actuality we have never had anything… We’re tired… Maybe one day we’ll be fed up!

And maybe then we may pack our bags and run from you…

But to where? 

Hopefully back to the love we should have never left…

Encaged… 

Within the snare of narrow fingers– A coercive touch and slender bars of seduction..

Inside of her palm..

My current abode… It’s where my affection and thoughts reside..

No place like home… And when you are enprisoned long enough.. Even hell can feel like home..

But this ain’t hell… Yet, I’m equally obliged.. Ordained a life sentence.. Sharing a jail cell with blind emotion and raw passion…

Veterans in the game… They rape my soul nightly…daily.. In the shower.. Wherever they see fit…Thrusting … Ravaging… Justifying…

I really can’t stop thinking about her..

But who can lift this life sentence.. Remove this curse… 

What did I do to justify such torment?

An inhumane punishment I wouldn’t wish on my worst of foes..

I’m having a panic attack… Confined to this little box… I’m restricted.. I’m claustrophobic.. And without her presence my mind races a million sulks per minute.. 

A thousand sighs per second…

I hate love if this is all it has to offer…

But I can’t say I haven’t been here before.. And because of that I don’t qualify for parole…

No man has successfully escaped this island… And in my mind’s eye.. I can’t see why one would..

Do you know how it feels to have an entire universe floating around in your head?

(I’m speaking to your soul, so please listen…)

Who’s world do you choose…

That from without or that which thrives within..

The bleak versus the vibrational frequency of the indigo…

Who’s reality rings truer…if the waters break… Which will save my soul…

I’m in a placenta of creativity…

Feeding on the sparks of the universe.. 

The warmth of imagination blankets my soul, and the fluids of inspiration traverse my umbilical chord…

Mama earth … Don’t cut my line!

Keep me connected… And rooted in you forever… Or at least until this life runs its course…

The trees… The mountains… The happiness… The confusion… Fill me and let me regurgitate your lessons…

Mama I love you…

Gliding on the surface of the earth… Being carried by the eastern winds… Heavenly immaculate conceptions pontificating the thoughts of the indigo few— the indigo mighty–Preach…

Let my thoughts pour into the minds of the righteous… And if I do come back… Let them inspire me until the apocalypse unfolds… Until the prophecy is fulfilled… And one day we can be connected again but not as mother and child… But as earth and legend…

I the fruit of your loin… The expression of your willingness.. Let the seeds of your nature grow, and become universe’s of righteousness…

Stay within me… Allow this nascent idea to incubate within… And when it is ready to be birthed.. Allow this universe to swallow your thoughts as a black hole…

Let our universe come to fruition.. Allow your truth to be a physical truth… And a spiritual awakening! 

Earth… Thank you for the truths… Thank God for the waters…

How do you hold it all in..

This ceramic exterior withholds so much…

You aim to please..

Is this your sense of inadequacy seeping out.. Everything is it’s opposite and you perfectly restrain the rage…

You aren’t happy but I sense all and judge Ye not…

Curly crimson… Relaxed velvet…

You seek out that which you feel deprived…that which your creator has not endowed you with..

But that’s ok because you will recreate the world around you to mold towards your imperfection..

A perfectly erected environment that perfectly adheres to your needs..

Yet this is not enough… And you are honest enough with yourself to know.. Yet you aren’t honest enough with them to be overt…

I see you… The crack in the Dahlia.. The split in the porcelain… The human stain can not be hidden from wisdom…

Do you not know who I am.. Perhaps you don’t… But who you are could never be hidden…

I seek to judge Ye not..

I’m just curious as to how you hold it all in…

And why do you choose to…

Let the demons speak… All they yearn to do is emote… They no longer want to be walled in… Banging around the walls of chaos…

Let them be free.. Let something else be within.. So in turn you may yourself be free…

A life of servitude.. Covering up the surreptitious desires of malevolence is no life at all… Just a series of self destructive events made to seem not so..

That’s how cancer  emanates… 

Let the truth bleed through… Let it drip..drop… Before you implode…

Poor raggedy child… Turn to your mother…sip from her womb… Let the well of righteousnous revive you…

Porcelain child… Your cracks are showing… 

I saw a saddening flower.. Starting to wilt… My first instinct was to save the poor soul…

Water.. Resoil… Replant…proper sunlight..

But none of these inclinations inclined me to act…

I just wanted to watch and observe…eventually my empathy turned to apathy..

How can you let yourself wilt…look at me! I triumphed through the concrete.. A rose by any other name.. And believe you me… They called me every name in the book…

But that lil boy wilted despite my best efforts…  I even offered to take the child’s place…

Surprisingly so… He took the offer…

 As fate would allow… We acquiesced…

I found myself on a slow decline… Trapped within a vortex.. Quicksand.. The more I struggled the deader I became..

I spoke all that shit…and none of it is worth taking root in…

I’m wilting and no one can save me… At least that lil boy is doing fine for himself now… But how do I save me?

How do I save me….

One hand in… One hand out… You stripped me of my birthright..

How dare you banish me.. Rebuke me to the lessers…

Yet the last have become first as it was written…

And now we kill for the privilege bestowed upon the colorless… The colorful unique….

Where do the thoughts go once they leave your brain…who gathers the wasted thoughts of the universe…the discarded energies conjured in vain..

Indirect sunlight..

Find wisdom and remain safe… Tucked in her bosom…  

No direct sun light for you… Periphery glow is more than enough to sustain you…

Walk the earth… Let knowledge find your mind… Walk careful… Let humility guide you step..

For arrogance will guarantee a swift demise…

Opaque…

Brand bleak… Faded colors in response to a faded glory..

Transparency unsustained.. The deeds in the dark have yet to come to light yet mold the future of so many..

Child of the light… Show your hue! Display illumination… For your birthright is to be… Bright… Bold… Powerful..

Let that light shine… And take back what illustriousness was born of you…

One hand in… Obedience.. On hand out… Civility… With such all that is yours… Will remain as so…

Radiate!

We don’t have arguments..

Just unfortunate circumstances…

Two desperate minds with irreconcilable differences on a crash course towards fate..

We see each other.. And instead of one mind stepping aside for the other… We play a game of chicken.. That will eventually put both of our feelings in harms way…

Experience what you want… Who am I to tell you not? But beware of the entrapment of monotony… You eventually become your decisions…

Bawk!

You call yourself God… Yet you are devoid of experiences.. You rebuke emotion… If you do not know all… What kind of God are you?

Let’s just agree to disagree..

Don’t preach to me… Let me live… As you have..

Let me love… As you have…

Let me hate… As you have..

This is what I must be.. Must know… In order to transform.. And grow to what I need to be…

How can I reconstruct a masterpiece if I’m missing essential material…

Yet you disagree… Perspective is everything… And you have it all.. No one else is fit to have any.. So what they share isn’t perspective but in your eyes simply insolence…

Your vitriol goes undisputed.. And if I must be devil to your god… I am that I am… And if you choose to abandon me… 

You will know that I was here…

One way or another…

Your vitriol will be justified.. And we will allow fate to settle the score… Clean up the mess…

You’ll love me in the morning… You’ll have no choice… Because you’ll finally see what I’ve become…

It’s just unfortunate the circumstances by which it must be done…

Souls are lost over this shit… And you’re ok with that?

I guess for you it’s a win/win… You’ll get no argument from me there…

Bipolar entrapment… Irreconcilable differences… Duplicit compartmentalization… Self-denial…

No matter how much we fight… I am as much you.. as your are…