Living in the future is pleasant.. It’s fun, it really is.. But it feels too much like the future…And the past is feeling too much at a distance..

Do you remember? Because I do,we were something special.. We were just, as our love was… Wondering what wonders the future held..wondering what possibilities were going to externalize… And now we’re living it, with relinquished power, but living it..

Somewhere along the line signals got crossed because this isn’t what it was meant to be…

But the love was never lost…

It really feels like we’re in the future.. But not quite our future… Just a future we’ve smoothly adapted to..not perfect but smooth enough…

For what it’s worth.. It’s all the same.. The love is just as pure.. But the circumstances differ…

And that difference has tainted my soul a bit.. Created some bitterness that indifference couldn’t resolve..

When circumstance looks you in the face.. Indifference refrains from being an option any longer.. And it would appear.. Circumstances do nothing but surround us.. People, circumstance, and the condition of indifference… Yet this future I’m forced to uphold has given me just reason enough to reject apathy, for the simple fact that this future was not my choice, so I must care what happens to me.. Because it affects my love..

Tainted soul and all…

I live because I choose to live, and perhaps my love will one day make a difference, when it manifest to how it was in a time before.. You and me, no longer wondering, but doing–reigning–believing– and ruling…

So it is proven the future comes through us not by us…

That when desire and hope rules our hearts… But now we operate out of will and we will the future back to where it was meant to be, and our love will be the impetus…

A kiss… Is as sound as a promise..

Everything’s more beautiful when you’re sad… Beauty redefines itself.. It finds a way to transfigure itself and show you who it really is…

“You were waiting for me..”

What the fuck is coincidence but two points coinciding at a third… A triangulation if you will…

Was I waiting for you, or did fate provide the circumstance.?

My brother we are one in but the same… I hear you the same as you hear me.. I can only touch your soul so much.. Give but a hope.. The piper that is you must fan the flame…

As all my prophesies, yours too will prove true… All I ask is that you remember this instance in time.. And understand that God is true…

The demons you speak of do take ho ld, but perhaps they aren’t all that you imagine.. Perhaps it’s only half the puzzle you’ve solved…

And seeing is half the battle, what you do next is true fulfillment… Sitting idle does nothing but welcome death..

purpose is change… And purpose is the only driving force that matters..

So brother, I may be the demon of your dreams… But that doesn’t make me any less of the god you seek we should be…

I slept under the moon light and all of  my thoughts-in-error went away.. 

The gentle light danced around my head.. In a ritualistic fashion until the anxious thoughts surfaced..

Like the fairies of old.. 

Those thoughts were gathered and bundled together.. As a beast of burden would, they carried those thoughts back to the moon atop their back..

I saw the trek.. Is wasn’t arduous, in fact they smiled while holding fast to my burden.. As though my trash was indeed their treasure..

 Upon the moon light’s journey…

When I awoke.. Everything was ok..

I’d like to think I slept it off.. But truth is, I did no such.. Because as I slept.. I journied away from my body and my thoughts as well.. I witnessed the moon and how it eventually ended up with my discarded thoughts…

I myself was on Jupiter’s moons… Conversing with myself.. Although not truly myself because it was the me of 5 million years ago, a bit ahead of my time I am..

But like I said when I awoke.. All was right.. And I was back to my regular self.. Me again.. Without the worries..

I’m exasperated.. Too tired of being too tired… The pressure is bone jolting.. The aloneness is suffocating..I been at it too long.. 

I cry at night.. For only through my suffering will you allow me sleep..

Yet I’m still naive enough to believe your folktale.. Heck I live for your folklore.. Centered my entire life around the reality of your folktale..

Time and time I’ve been made a fool.. Others have warned.. But I kept faith.. It’s like you take pleasure in my naïveté.. I can almost feel the vibes of your snickers…you used to bother to at least laugh behind my back..

Be Careful what you ask for they warned.. Then why the fuck am I getting everything I sought to avoid…everything I wept not to have.. You brought it right to me and force fed it down my throat..

A cruel joke your narrative turned out to be..

You hide behind the sun.. The moon.. The hopes… And pains of an entire people..

That’s both your shield and your source..

Release me.. Release me from your spell… I’m too tired and I done gave up..

Release me from your twisted fairytale.. I no longer have the foolishness to go on… 

But just when I’m at my wits in…

 It’s that small glimmer of inspiration that shines through..

The bait.. And I swear you me… I fall for it every time.. And the cycle continues.. As the story is told..

The story that never ends..

It isn’t quite what you assume..

 I, like you, was in a cave.. In some instances may still be.. 

Amused and entertained by the dancing shadows along the cavern walls..

Spirited by them, the shadows, so much that they were all I learned to revere..

The dark is what I knew, what I called home, and the limited amount of light was just enough to create the shadows.. The light was creation and the shadows were our gods.. All of our hopes, aspirations and desires were within the shadows..

It contained both death and life..

Until one day one of us gained the courage to climb towards the light itself..

This courage was quickly dissuaded..

 Blinded by the radiance…

He couldn’t adjust (for he didn’t know to).. Back to the shadows he fled.. Warning the rest of us that the light is nothing but pain… something to be feared.. 

And believe you me, I believed him.. I stayed where I was meant to be.. I was used to it, comforted by it.. What else was there?

But curiosity was always there..

Tantalizing me..

Tempting me..

Perplexing me.. What’s beyond the light.. If the light is Creation.. What’s beyond the source.. 

Is there life after birth?

Well that answer would be for you to find out.. Like I said.. I, like you, was once in a cave.. And in some instances..

Still am…

Is he nothing more than a lost king?

 A king without a kingdom… This life has managed to continually find a way to mock him.. Hints at what he once was but cold slaps of reality constantly remind him of where he is..

Spit on the grave.. So sleeps your king..

Extract him from what he once was.. Place him in an alternate environment.. Just to see how he’ll react..

Laugh at the prideful corpse..

Will he still be righteous.. Will he still be noble.. Will he still retain confidence rather regal bearing.. Or does the circumstance shape the man..

If he never knew who He was.. Then what would He have to lean on.. If he couldn’t see beyond sight.. Perhaps his fate would be that of the next man.. Just another .. Struggling to survive and satisfy one’s desires..

I see false kings and prophets all around me.. I see charlatans and philistines with the nerve to express pretentiousness… Arbitrary laws with predictable results.. 

I once asked what a king is without his kingdom.. How selfish of me.. For a more dire question becomes.. What’s a kingdom without its king..

Up for grabs.. Mayhem, chaos, distasteful order..

Where do the remaining pawns go once the king has been check mated?

We were’t made for this.. So, trust me, I feel your pain.. 

Here but not quite here.. 

Awkwardly sticking out of each situation.. No matter how hard you try.. You never quite get it..your vibe doesn’t quite synchronize…

And deep down inside, you understand why they smirk.. 

It’s just too bad you want to smirk with them, instead of smirking at em..

Alone isn’t solitude for you.. It’s a place called home.. Because you are a feeler.. You feel all of the sentiments that the shadows provide and whatever bull shit the shadows have to offer.. And despite it all, you’re comfortable with the shadows, because they never criticize and always acknowledge you..

A thin layer of fat provided a small buffer between you in the world.. A small bottle blurred the noise… But you grew addicted to the disconnect.. 

Heck you never fit in anyway..

Now the thin layer has multiplied exponentially (corpulently plump they say) , and to touch your soul one would have to bust through a wall… One bottle turned into two.. No sound can get through..

She’s an island all to herself.. And believe me.. I understand …

The allure of the disconnect feels simple enough.. Just the pain one unsure soul is meant to bare.. But this does not provide the truth of the matter.. Just the narrative you’ve been told and so elegantly lived out… Who can save you but yourself? Who can love you without touching you?

And who can save one who wishes not to be saved… A self-referential cycle of torment, a quicksand to pride.. No way out.. The more you struggle the further you drown… So no longer fight who you are.. Allow the sands of time to fulfill you and like the caterpillar allow the solitude to magnify and transform your beauty..

Not deify your ugly…

The fabric of your world is breaking down.. And you can’t hold it together.. There are glitches.. And they are becoming more and more evident.. By more and more people..
You blame us and victim becomes the issue.. There must be something wrong with us.. Certainly we are the problem.. But we’re merely satellites transmitting data.. Data goes in and data comes out…
The mind can’t perceive what the brain doesn’t tell it.. Majority of the time the mind dominates the brain.. And preconceived notions rule the world… But every so often.. The brain has a break through.. And untarnished reality bleeds through.. Surpassing any fragmented lies the mind has been supplanted with.. Conditioned with.. Heavily bombarded with.. 

Boy oh boy that becomes a danger.. Because suddenly a frolic through the clouds becomes a high speed chase..

Reconciliation becomes imminent.. The mind must reconcile the brain.. Or the brain must reconcile the thought.. Lies collied with truth and they become indistinguishable, and then the end result is tragedy…

A lost soul stuck in limbo… In neutral because the soul’s compass can no longer determine North..

But you can’t tell us why we’re here?

Yet you can tell us when the truth is a curse…

Every bit of the truth is a blessing.. Every fragmented, distorted piece is a treasure.. And unfortunately the satellites picking up the frequency of truth are dysfunctional.. At least by society’s standards..

But I suppose ignorance is bliss.. The sweeter the lie.. The sweeter the life…

As s boy, I skipped along the ginger bread road..As a young man, I traversed along the golden brick road..

In a moment of serendipity..

I looked down.. Examined a golden brick.. Came to realization that it was but a stone painted yellow..

I only went down that path because I was under the impression I was missing something..

I sought to find all that was missing… But the mirror of enchantment insisted I came into fruition in my entirety.. Nothing was ever missing–simply unrealized..

Then who are these teachers who taught me how to live…that taught me what to be and how to be..

Against a tree, I sit, legs crossed–Indian style… Mind floating amongst the clouds..

Walking no longer fits my mood.. I prefer to soar.. 

The clouds have no paths, just open space– to explore…

The clouds form no shape but the shape nature allows, no bounds or restrictions..

I like the clouds, but the clouds is no place for a man to be–at least for no great extent..

Man is of earth, so from the earth man shall receive his fulfillment..

So I’m carving my own path, traversing the most dangerous of terrain… Through the Valley of Death I was allowed to understand life.. In the Desert I discovered that solitude was the path to righteousness.. Atop the mountain peaks I recognized all the untapped beauty and unrealized potential..

I continue to travel…
With mind… With body.. With soul.. With spirit..
I will rest when time desires such..

But only for a moment, until time allows me to travel again..